Stupidity is incurable

(Revised Hometown Classic)

Stupid is as stupid does and its evident in the courts of law!

President Bush, in a speech while in Mississippi, stated “Frivolous lawsuits are seriously degrading the American way of life.” 

The key word is 'frivolous'! Which is another word for Ridiculous and means unworthy of serious or sensible treatment.

All it takes is for one stupid lawsuit to succeed and we are taught its okay to play.

Who remembers the famous McDonald coffee lawsuit? Stella Liebeck, 81 years old sued because she spilled her HOT coffee. Her reward for being so bold was a total of $640,000. Now she can afford skin graft surgery, a face-lift and Botox forever!

It's like winning a lottery, think you have been wronged well its your lucky day!

Yet, stupidity continues such as the woman who tried to sue a dead man?  Gayane Zokhraboy tried to sue this guy because his body parts struck her as he was being struck by a train. Thankfully a sane judge dismissed the lawsuit because the poor guy couldn’t have known where his body was going to strike…because…get this…he was DEAD. Duh!

Stupid lawsuits

What about the Orlando woman suing Universal Studios because the Halloween Horror Nights haunted house scared her! She seeks $15,000 for extreme fear, emotional distress and mental anguish. If she wins, I am getting in line because I got scared on a few rides at Universal’s park myself. Not to mention, all the time I wasted standing in lines and the physical suffering that my feet and back went through! That should be good for $50,000. Oh and don't forget I did this with children! 

Oh the suffering to have fun!

Here is one for you sports enthusiast. If you ever had to sit on the bench, justice. A teen sued because he spent 80% of the time on the bench or the player who sued the coach because they lost all 15 games and his time was wasted.

Of course, the new wave of frivolous lawsuits is the overweight victims who are suing fast-food places for their obesity. A 270 pound, 56 year old maintenance worker filed a class action lawsuit claiming McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy’s, and KFC jeopardized his health with their greasy and salty fare. It is the first broad-based action against the fast food industry for allegedly contributing to obesity.

I guess each burger needs a warning label on it, consuming too many of these can cause you to get fat and be stupid! And possibly rich!

A California man is suing a casino in Las Vegas claiming the casino was negligent in allowing him to gamble away more than a million dollars while he was intoxicated. Do you think if he had won a million dollars while drunk that nullifies that too?

I am suing the Gulf Coast Casinos because I never win! Add the Powerball people too! And the publishers clearing house, etc…and that little kid who sells me raffle tickets!

I am not saying there are not appropriate times to sue and find true justice, but it seems unfair that our stupid people are being rewarded for being stupid.

Have you ever been fussed at for not suing somebody? I have and by a judge.

When my first husband was killed in an auto freak ‘accident’ and I emphasize 'accident' because that is what it was, I had no intention or thought to take legal action. 

We had insurance and no one had wronged me. 

However, when I had to testify in a court regarding the incident the judge chastised me for "NOT" suing the other party. He actually stopped the proceedings and stated he would check into bringing a lawsuit for my children's sake. I was dumbstruck. 

Does he get a bonus for lawsuit quotas?

After waiting a month, wondering if I had been a good mother, doubting myself, he decided there was no reason to pursue a lawsuit. Maybe I should have sued him for prolonging my doubts and fears!

Well, that got me thinking. Maybe I should turn over a new leaf and start suing all those whom I think have wronged me.

My next husband is a Deer Hunter
as this lovely room of death reveals.
Revenge is delicious.
Let me sue the real culprit in my late husband's fatal accident--the 8-point deer that caused the wreck. 

Can you sue wildlife?

Can I sue the Mississippi Wildlife Department because their deer are roaming across the highways with murderous intent? 

Why this is empowering, let me think of some more personal injuries to add to the pot.

This costs me a lot of cash!
And it lasted that day only!
First, I would like to sue at least one of my parents for my bad hair. Due to a gene pool malfunction, I have had a bad hair life. For all the costs of trying to fix my hair, the emotional distress, the pain and agony. 


I still have a month to go!
I am suing my children next, because of what they have done to my figure.
(Never mind the years of neglect, no time to exercise, and high calorie intake)

I blame them for their contribution so I deserve damages. 

Three pregnancies and the last one with 14 pounds of twins have done me in.

My compensation? I ask for a complete overhaul with a plastic surgeon and don't even get me started on my brain damages!

Did I mention that my brother is the devil....
a PRC blue devil that is!
For past injuries, I am suing my brother, Coach Weems!  He drove me crazy. He drove my friends crazy. 

His antics have caused mental damages such as the time when I was on a date and my seven-year-old brother asked the guy to bend down, and then he thrust a handful of sand into his shirt!

Or, what about the time I was receiving a goodnight kiss and over the hood of the car, swinging out of a large oak tree was my brother. 

I think I have a case!

I am suing Wal-Mart next, for all the money I am forced to spend when I go there!

Shame on Pearl River Central High School, they did not make me smarter! 

It doesn't matter that I relaxed a little that senior year and a few days were spent skipping with my buddies. Yeah, I graduated with honors, but none of it stuck. My brain is void of intellectual data because every time my twelve year old asks me something schoolwork related, I answer with, “I don’t know, ask your father.”

I have not always acted like a little angel. Can I sue the Devil, because he made me do it!

I am demanding justice for all the wrongs that have been done to me! So watch out World, I am starting a tab and all I need is for one lawsuit to work. I just wanna sue somebody!


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