Hurricanes, Tornadoes, Floods or Earthquakes, oh My!

 The warnings! The predictions! The fearmongering! The constant reminder that we’d better get ready cause Weather is out to get us!

I heard the phrase thrown out, “Godzilla El Nino!”

Good grief. Now the weather has a monster title!

Hasn’t weather always had its moments.

Experts are all over the place, explaining, theorizing, predicting and occasionally getting it right. I mean, my grandmother’s aching joints predicted rain better than some million-dollar weather computers!

And while we are discussing scientific advancements, why are we still relying on a rodent to predict early spring?

But not to worry, there is always bad weather with 24-hour news cycles.

What’s the disaster de jour? Earthquakes popping up all over the map! European Tornadoes! And indescribable floods of biblical proportions! And with our phones glued to our hands we can watch every terrifying minute live from the comfort of our recliners.

What scary headlines! 

But of course, what would news be if it wasn’t another disaster.

What about having a paper headline every morning that read: 

The Sun Came Up Again

Flowers Blooming Across America

Local Teens Volunteer at Nursing Homes

Nobody Shot Last Night

Let’s face it, if you did wake up reading those headlines, you would have to check your pulse! Am I reading the Heavenly Times or the Paradise Item?

Just to emphasize, there are no safe spots on the map.

As a Gulf Coast Mississippian, who has survived some pretty serious hurricanes before moving to Huntsville Alabama, I apparently traded one weather villain for another.

Darth Vader or Voldemort? Does it matter both were scary!

I have experience…or what they call today receipts!

In 1969, Hurricane Camille was a monster, CAT 5 that pounded us, the walls and ceiling actually breathed in and out, a roar so loud with thumps of objects hitting our house kept us on edge until dawn. The 28 days of no electricity, the deceased corpses of all manner of animals littering our yard were just an introduction of the named storms.

At least hurricanes have the decency to announce their season.

Like football, they have a schedule. You can mark your calendar to stock up your pantry, buy plywood, and don’t plan any cruises.

Out door events like weddings on the Gulf Coast, well, you better hanve Plan B, C and possibly an Ark 

Living close to the coastline meant you have a fascination of watching tropical updates. Its weather paranoia, some call it being weather aware.

The minute something started churning in the Atlantic or Caribbean, I become an amateur meteorologist. I study ever cloud, every satellite image and every spaghetti model.

I could get charts, graphs, predictions, computer estimations, and psychic predictions all about hurricanes. If a leaf blew across the yard there was someone to analyze it for me. 

Even if the expert hurricane meteorologist predicted a particular hurricane was going to Timbuktu …I would watch suspiciously. I know those rascals can U-turn.

Paranoid? Of course. Hurricanes are unpredictable and very frustrating and downright rude!

A least they have names.

I like that, so I feel like it gives me somebody to blame.

Katrina, Camille, Ivan strike fear in my heart, but what about Bob?

 How can I take a storm named Bonnie seriously? Like she might bring me casserole!

But Bertha sounds like she means business.

And now Isai-sa-sa-sa-sas…or whatever it’s called! No one can pronounce or spell!

I gave a child Isaiah as a middle name, you think its easy to spell, but after 25 years, I still have to stop and think. 

Tornadoes don’t get friendly little names but location names.

The Great Natchez Tornado, the Tri-State Tornado of 1925, the Jopling Tornado.

These windstorms have outbreaks, not seasons. They just show up!

No calendar can contain the deadly tornado. They strike anytime they feel like it.

Fast, furious and nameless!

Thankfully, I get a heads up from the weather guy that bad weather will be here on Thursday night around midnight. That kind of notification, I can pencil in my “to do” list.

Charge phone. Find flashlight. Find batteries for flashlight. Put on shoes. Locate dog. Pray.

And wait for the sirens!

At first, the sound of sirens was exciting! Then I remembered the movie Twister!

Suddenly, the possibility of cows flying past my window wasn’t quite so entertaining.

And then came April 27, 2011.

That historic day cured my fascination of tornadoes.

It was the worse outbreak in Alabama history.

Sirens interrupting sirens, warnings interrupting warnings and hundreds of tornadoes on the ground all around me.

Not little garden variety twisters either, we are talking the big guns…EF-4 and EF-5….oh my!

I learned quickly that tornadoes are not nearly as accommodating as hurricanes.

With a hurricane, school was out, work was cancelled, family and friends gathered together, sometimes for days, waiting the storm out.

We shared meals, supplies, and watched and waited. It was fun. Generally, there was nothing.

Tornadoes don’t allow time for family reunions.

Would earthquakes be better?

California? Japan?

Nope. I don’t particularly care for the ground moving beneath my feet without warning. I fall enough with it still.

Then, add a giant tsunami wave to the mix…good grief, insult to injury!

Where can we move to hide from all these murdering weathering events?

The moon?

My luck, a meteor shower would hit!

Truth is, there are no safe places.

A giant tree fell in our back yard.

No storm. No wind. No warning. Just Boom!

A tree can fall at any time even if you are taking a stroll through the forest on a beautiful, spring day.

A reminder that you can take every precaution, watch every weather report and still have absolutely no control over what tomorrow brings.

We want predictions. We want guarantees. We want somebody to tell us exactly what's coming and how to avoid it.

But life doesn't work that way.

I've survived hurricanes that changed the landscape of my hometown, tornadoes that devastated communities around me, and personal storms that no meteorologist could have predicted.

And through it all, I've learned that preparation is wise, but worry doesn't change the forecast.

Jesus reminded us in Matthew 6:34 not to be anxious about tomorrow, because tomorrow will have troubles of its own.

That doesn't mean we ignore the warnings, throw away our flashlights or refuse to take shelter.

It means we do what we can, trust God with what we cannot, and remember that none of us was promised another sunrise.

So, stock your emergency supplies. Charge your phone. Keep your shoes handy. Hug your family. Say your prayers.

And when the sun comes up tomorrow, maybe we ought to make that the biggest headline of the day.

THE SUN CAME UP AGAIN!