Bigfoot — A Redneck Alien? (Revisited)
All this alien talk in the news made me revisit a theory I came up with
years ago:
Bigfoot is a redneck alien.
I know that sounds absurd.
But stay with me.
This theory was born years ago when a shadowy figure appeared in news
reports from a Mars Rover image that looked suspiciously like Sasquatch
strolling across the red planet.
Coincidence?
I think not.
And now UFOs and Orbs are showing up on cameras everywhere. Yet no one
ever seems to catch them landing.
Why?
Because they are plopping down in remote forests, where Bigfoot can
quietly step off the ship unseen, unphotographed, and apparently unbothered.
The creature with many names—Bigfoot, Yeti, Sasquatch—never leaves much
proof of his existence.
Plenty of eyewitnesses.
Lots of footprints.
One famously shaky 1967 Patterson-Gimlin film.
But where is the clear trail-camera footage?
Hunters catch deer.
Hunters catch raccoons.
Hunters catch possums scratching themselves at 2 a.m.
But not Bigfoot?
What Alien technology do they have?
Now I have seen Bigfoot videos floating around social media. Most look
fake.
Or do they?
That is exactly what they want us to think.
Years ago, I suggested Bigfoot Martians could not… poop… due to lack of
water on Mars.
But since frozen water has since been found on Mars, I have had to revise
my theory.
Perhaps Bigfoot is not from Mars.
Perhaps he is from the dark side of the Moon.
Science must stay flexible. Aliens come from other worlds.
And what if Alien Bigfoot is less “Harry and the Hendersons” and more like
the Predator—visiting Earth for trophy hunts?
That would prove the elusive creature is, in fact, a redneck alien.
Picture Bigfoot’s den on his home planet.
Mounted deer.
Elk.
A grizzly.
My Uncle Fred.
And, as Ace Ventura: Pet Detective said—
“Lovely room of death.”
Does Mrs. Alien Bigfoot roll her eyes when her mate calls from Earth to
report another ten-point buck for the living room wall?
These are legitimate questions.
And let us discuss technology.
Alien Bigfoot clearly has the ability to jam radar, disrupt cell phone
cameras, hide from heat source drone cameras, and if found on a recording has
the ability to produce strange distortions so not to be profound proof.
But our most famous film of Bigfoot, the Patterson video has now been
reaffirmed by modern AI analysis as authentic.
So, that only proves Bigfoot is real.
No Bigfoot poop is he uses the facilities on the ship!
With this ability to avoid capture, should we be concerned Alien
Sasquatch is infiltrating our world?
Is Earth an interstellar hunting preserve?
Sightings of Sasquatch go back centuries. Reports stretch from North
America to Malaysia, China, Russia, Australia, South America—even Hawaii.
How did Bigfoot get to Hawaii?
Please.
Spaceship.
And these creatures reportedly come in brown, black, red and white coats.
Do they have disagreements over fur color?
Are their Racist Bigfoots?
Should I be concerned with my safety.
I have been concerned since watching “The Legend of Boggy Creek” The Fauk
monster in Texarkana made me too scared to look out the window at night!
And if my theory is correct—Aliens are actually Bigfoot then I have now
let the cat out of the bag!
And with recent stories about UFO scientists and engineers supposedly
disappearing…and dying mysteriously….
I would like to clarify:
I am only a fake blonde with a keyboard.
I would like the record to show:
I am perfectly mentally okay.
I have no travel plans.
And if I suddenly vanish…
check the woods.
By the real
Tracy Williams (not an AI)
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