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They Don't Make Grannies Anymore

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  They Don’t Make Grannies Anymore Have you noticed… real grannies are disappearing? I’m talking about the true, blue-haired, baking, cleaning, no-nonsense kind. The kind that feels like it belongs to another era. We may be the last generation to experience them. Now, my own grandmothers weren’t exactly the “classic” grannified type—but my husband’s mother? She was the real deal. Honestly, spotting a true granny these days feels about as likely as spotting Bigfoot. So what is a granny? And how do you know if you’ve got one? Let me help you out. Because if you do—cherish her. Hug her. Learn from her. Today’s model of grandmothers are not bad just—but different. They use smartphones. They eat healthy. They work out. But let’s be honest… They can’t make real banana pudding. Old-school grannies grew up in a different way of life. Nothing was instant. No disposable wipes, diapers, meals or husbands! No convenience. No shortcuts. They didn’t call it “recycling” to reuse every item rather...
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  Bigfoot — A Redneck Alien? (Revisited) All this alien talk in the news made me revisit a theory I came up with years ago: Bigfoot is a redneck alien. I know that sounds absurd. But stay with me. This theory was born years ago when a shadowy figure appeared in news reports from a Mars Rover image that looked suspiciously like Sasquatch strolling across the red planet. Coincidence? I think not. And now UFOs and Orbs are showing up on cameras everywhere. Yet no one ever seems to catch them landing. Why? Because they are plopping down in remote forests, where Bigfoot can quietly step off the ship unseen, unphotographed, and apparently unbothered. The creature with many names—Bigfoot, Yeti, Sasquatch—never leaves much proof of his existence. Plenty of eyewitnesses. Lots of footprints. One famously shaky 1967 Patterson-Gimlin film. But where is the clear trail-camera footage? Hunters catch deer. Hunters catch raccoons. Hunters catch possums scratchin...
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  Happiness is an ugly husband? According to the latest scientific study designed to ruin perfectly good marriages, women are happier with ugly husbands. ( https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/200804/why-handsome-men-make-bad-husbands-ii ) Well fine. If misery means waking up beside Henry Cavill every morning, then I’ll suffer through it somehow.     But then, i t’s hard to be considered the ugly one in a relationship.   All this time, I thought a happy woman was married to a rich husband, who knew it had more to do with his face rather than his bank account.   Since when did ugly become the key to emotional stability? Rich I understand. Funny I understand. Handy around the house? Absolutely. But ugly?   What does ugly got to do with it!  What if your husband is better looking than you are but you both are considered attractive? How does that figure in the happiness scale if neither are ugly? I vaguely remember ano...
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