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From the My Hometown Column archives (2014): I stumbled across this old column and discovered that while television has changed, my confusion about reality TV has not.


Naked and Blogging! Oh My!

Here I sit, naked and typing my blog.

Well, not really. But these days, if reality television has taught us anything, apparently everything is better in your birthday suit.

Our culture keeps finding new lows just when I think we might make a U-turn out of Scumville. Television producers can’t come up with fresh plots and storylines, so instead they rehash old ideas and sprinkle in a little nakedness.

Adam and Eve were the first naked farmers, and even they didn't stick with it for long.

Take Buying Naked, a show where people shop for houses without clothes. As a former Realtor, I'm not sure I'd want to drive nude clients around in the same vehicle my young sons have to ride in later. You know...the seats.

My husband loves survival shows and watches Naked and Afraid, where they drop a man and a woman into some remote jungle and film them being, well, naked and afraid.

Oh the horror of it! Do we really want snakes, ticks, and unseen bugs sharing the same space as open private parts?

Then came Dating Naked.

Isn't dating embarrassing enough already?

At this rate, a whole new lineup of naked-themed television is probably sitting on some network executive's desk right now.

I can see the future.

Walking Naked and Dead—complete with clothes-less zombies and enough sagging flesh to make viewers lose their appetite.

And Dancing with the Naked Stars sounds painful for both the dancers and the audience. 

America's Got No Talent and No Clothes!

Or add sports, Pickleball in the Nude! Bowling with Balls! 

Please, no more naked shows?

No more dumb-and-dumber programming!

Not to mention the whole naked thing is false advertising. I haven't seen a single part that is considered private!

Censors blur out all the important areas! There is no actual nudity! What we are really watching is a parade of flesh-colored blur bikinis.

Why do we need naked shows anyway? Isn't pornography already available? The original naked programming?

How is Nude activity become popular? It isn’t like nudist colonies have multiplied in our society.

My one encounter with nudists did not reveal Chris Hemsworth or Henry Cavill-like dudes but more like Don Knots and Willie Nelson.

Funny how that works.

Besides morality and modesty, there are practical reasons for covering your parts—sand, bacteria, mosquito bites, and hot or cold seats come immediately to mind.

Truth be told, it is hard to be naked in my own home with twin boys around. They open doors before knocking!

Personally, I'll skip the naked shows and stick with nature documentaries.

 At least when the animals run around naked, nobody calls it reality television.

 

myhometowncolumn/tracy williams

 

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