Do Wrinkles Hurt

 Do Wrinkles Hurt?

One of the twins asked me an innocent question years ago:

“Do wrinkles hurt?”

Yes, son.

Yes they do.

Every wrinkle has been carefully handcrafted through aggravation, frustration, exhaustion, bad decisions, stress eating, raising children, paying bills, and trying to remember why you walked into a room in the first place.

Wrinkles are not random.

They are life’s receipts.

Every line tells a story. Some people have laugh lines. Some have worry lines. Some of us have “I raised twin boys and survived on caffeine and prayer” lines.

The harder the life, the deeper the crease.

Now men? Men somehow get away with wrinkles.

A gray-haired man with wrinkles is called “distinguished.”
A woman gets one tiny line beside her eye and suddenly she’s online researching miracle creams made from seaweed, snail slime, and the tears of financially broken women.

Women are spending billions trying to fight nature.

Starting at ages that 

Creams. Serums. Masks. Rollers. Lasers. Fillers. Needles.

At this point, some folks have so much stuff pulled tight they look permanently surprised.

Young women are now fighting wrinkles before the wrinkles even arrive. At twenty-three, they’re getting “preventative procedures.” Preventative from what? Life hasn’t even aggravated you properly yet.

If young women would just wear sunscreen every day, they could save themselves thousands of dollars later in life.

And don’t even get me started on magnifying mirrors. Whoever invented those hateful things was clearly trying to destroy female self-esteem one enlarged pore at a time.

And let me tell you something else nobody warns you about…

Raising children directly affect your face.

The more you have, the more wrinkles you earn. Forget genetics. Parenting is the real culprit.

Good children may add only a few tiny lines.

But a strong-willed child?
A child who treats common sense like a casual suggestion?

If you got one of those, then Honey, go ahead and start putting money back for face lifts now.

People always talk about “growing old gracefully.”

I’m not sure I’m interested.

Gracefully sounds suspiciously like giving up.

I still want a little sparkle in my life. A little fun. A little laughter. Maybe dessert before supper every now and then.

So if I give up all my unhealthy, bad habits then why would I want to live to a hundred! That's not living!

Of course we should take care of ourselves. We should make wise choices, put down the carbs and get more than 500 steps a day!

We have been given a gift of more years.

But I also think some people spend so much time trying not to age that they forget to actually live.

Meanwhile George Burns smoked cigars for a hundred years and acted unbothered the entire time.

Fighting aging makes no sense.

Another birthday means another wrinkle, another ache, another mysterious sound effect when you stand up from the couch…

…but it also means another year we were blessed to be here.

Another year to laugh harder.
Love deeper.
Forgive quicker.
Call somebody we miss.
Eat the good cake.
Take the trip.
Write the story.
Sit on the porch a little longer.

Taking life for granted may be the biggest wrinkle of all.

So if you’re feeling old today, don’t worry.

You’re in good company.

As Bob Hope once said:

“I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon… then it’s time for my nap.”

And honestly?

That sounds pretty wonderful.